Another painful loss but a gain for heaven...

I first met Ansley at church well over a year ago. I was just coming off my diagnosis and beginning treatment. Through friends at church I was introduced to Ansley and we had an immediate connection via our fight with cancer. She was very interested in how I was doing, and was obviously a faithful, unselfish person. She had been battling cancer for a couple of years, and I was surprised at how well she looked, very healthy. At the time I silently guessed her age in the mid thirties, too young to have cancer I thought. I explained my situation, then looked into her eyes and asked "what is your prognosis?" My question was met with a decidedly changed emotion; she simply pursed her lips, dropped her head, and began to shake her head "no" without saying a word. I will never forget that encounter.

Ansley went home to be with the Lord last Tuesday. She has entered into the visual presence of our creator, and I must admit I am a bit envious. I know, I know, you should never wish your life away. But when you've gone through what I've been through, well, some days you just feel like throwing in the towel. Ansley was 39, a wife and mother of 2 small children. A celebration of life service was held at our church on Saturday, and I have never seen so many cars at our church in the 2 short years we have attended CBC. Ansley was obviously a loved and respected person because the church was packed, standing room only and I am talking about the entire facility, not just the sanctuary. The service was wonderful, the mood was certainly painful but at times funny and upbeat. It was, in my opinion, a wonderful way to show your last respects to a person who possessed a tremendous faith strength. Three folks that were close friends of Ansley spoke about how their lives were touched in an extraordinary way by a person whose faith went well beyond the ordinary. To give you an idea of how strong she was, she would ask the doctors "how are YOU doing and how can I pray for you?" This said in the face of adversity and during the challenges of treatment. Think about the last time you went to a doctor. Usually the doc asks "how are you doing and what is wrong?" When is the last time you approached your doc the way Ansley did? In my case, never. Another example of how we can improve our faith by simply asking instead of being consumed by our on situation. Think about it.

Treatment last week was postponed another week due to the fact that I am simply worn out. Chemo is taking a rather brutal toll on parts of my body. For example, the skin on my hands continues to peel off in the same areas every 2 weeks. When I'm on chemo these areas hurt so much I can't even button a shirt. Ah yes, the joy of treatment. It looks like I will be on an every 3 weeks treatment schedule for a while, allowing my body an extra week to heal prior to the next "zapping".

In closing, take the time to consume the following poem, written by an anonymous 17th century Puritan who most certainly experienced great amounts of opposition, persecution, and unwarranted suffering at the hands of ungodly men. The poem is entitled The Valley of Vision.

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,

where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;

hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox

that the way down is the way up,

that to be low is to be high,

that the broken heart is the healed heart,

that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,

that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,

that to have nothing is to possess all,

that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,

that to give is to receive,

that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,

and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;

Let me find thy light in my darkness,

thy life in my death,

thy joy in my sorrow,

thy grace in my sin,

thy riches in my poverty,

thy glory in my valley.

We all face challenges in our lives. Life is difficult at best, and at times can be very painful. We are born sinners in a sinful world. You must place your faith in Jesus and He will light your path and help you on your way. We live in a society of "I have to have it now and it has to be better than what my neighbor has..." How ridiculous. Be thankful for the blessings you already have. When (if) you go to heaven, God doesn't judge you by the home you lived in or the car you drove or the clothes you wore. He judges you by asking did you give shelter to those in need, did you offer help to those who could not get to where they needed to be, and did you take the shirt off your own back and give it to someone who had nothing to wear? Tough questions that we all should take seriously as we examine who we are. Okay, enough preaching for today. Have a great week and don't forget to tell the one's you love that you love them and give them a hug. You never know when it will your last. I hugged Ansley the last time I saw her about 2 weeks ago. How priviledged I am to be able to savor that moment. Godspeed to you all.

Till next time, Brian....