Just another manic Monday...

First and foremost, Godspeed to the families of the victims of 9/11. Can it really be five years later? Boy does time fly, but the raw feelings of 9/11 remain strong in all of us. Let us not forget.

Well, today was a busy day if you consider counting the dots in the ceiling tiles as being busy. I arrived at the Cancer Center at 7:30AM for my first scheduled appointment of the day. Only 3-1/2 hours until my last appointment, so I should be out of here by noon, right? WRONG! Man this place is just packed with people, so many innocent souls stricken by this dreaded disease. Again I look around the waiting area and see so many folks that are struggling big time with the effects of chemo and radiation. Cancer sucks. After my 7:30 appointment I had time to talk to the research nurse regarding the clinical trial they want me to participate in. She answered my questions and went over the schedule with me. The good thing is the clinical drug is the ONLY treatment I will receive, so I’m off regular chemo at least for a couple of months. If all goes as scheduled, I will be home by Thanksgiving, with a few quick trips home to see the kids. If I don’t have any serious side effects from the clinical drug and it yields positive results, I will return to Houston every 2 weeks for a one day treatment for an indefinite period of time. Let’s pray for positive results. After we reviewed everything, I asked the clinical nurse “why am I a good candidate for this clinical trial?” Because you are in excellent health was her response. I find this wildly ironic; I’m in excellent health, and I have cancer…oh well, you work with what you have. Thank God I am in relative good health. I will be the 21st person to participate in this trial, which is pretty cool. I’m going to be on the cutting edge of research, hopefully contributing in a positive way to the trial while getting the benefit on a drug that is not yet FDA approved. Hopefully I will be one of those participants that will go into the research books as a participant that had positive results. If the results are good and the drug shows promise for everyone, then it will gain FDA approval. I must admit this is complicated stuff and difficult for me to articulate (and understand). However, this is why I’m here so let’s strap in for the ride.

After meeting with the clinical nurse, I went to the waiting area for my CT scan. Again, the room is overflowing with people. A few folks are in wheelchairs, unable to walk on their own. One of those folks was a young girl. I overheard her father talking to one of the nurses, confirming her personal information. She was born in December 1988. The same month and year Breanne was born. Only 17 years old, and she is confined to a wheelchair due to the callous affects of cancer. Damn this disesase. It makes me hurt and get angry all at the same time. I felt so sorry for this child, who was obviously scared but was most likely a “veteren” of the treatment circuit. Why must she suffer? Why her instead of my child? Stop. I cannot ask why, it’s not my place to do so. Instead I must focus on the mission at hand while praying for people like this young girl, praying that God will give this child peace and comfort. Damn this disease.

Well, I was able to get out of the Cancer Center by 2:30PM. Not too bad. You simply have to be patient, wait your turn, and count your blessings that we have a place like MD Anderson to come to in our time of need. It beats the heck out of inpatience and getting cranky because your day is shot waiting on the next appointment.

I’m back on Wednesday for a meeting with the oncologist, another scan, and more tests. If all goes as planned, I’m starting treatment on Thursday. A one hour drip followed by six hours of observation. Maybe I’ll take a nap.

Till next time...Brian.